action thrillers are shown for a reason

i took four days off. its my first day. after going around in circles i had to admit, i cant be this deligent with my job. months ago, its a delight for my supervisors if i get through a week without making absences. but after i got back from my rather long vacation in manila, i decided, if i want to make things happen, i got to have alota dough, so i worked days and night. not like my job will make me any richer if work hard but itll pay for my debts. then the whole hospital drama suddenly got into me. there were gunshot victims, granade blast casualties, mauling and stab victims. i know its a dangerous world out there, but can i really get through life worrying that some of those things might happen to me? getting through everyday life is already making me ill, now i have morbid thoughts everytime i go walking around the city. why would i ever think that being stabbed, mauled, shot or blasted be a possibility? its because i met someone who, even though far-fetched, is capable of doing so. i saw him get really angry and demand for his bodyguards to go get the people who got him to that angry state and bring them where we are so that he could inflict physical pain not even in my nightmare exists. i had to get down on my knees (no pun intended) and beg him to please, for goodness sake, calm down and think over the situation. i had to break down and cry. i had to walk out and hunt those people myself and keep them safe. now, as i relive the incident, if i was in the shoes of those people, will they do what i just did for them? would they get down on their knees, break down and cry, beg for someone to spare me? i had doubts. and my doubts is always never without reason. this things happened only days ago. then i had to still work. walk around the hospital with only two/three hours sleep. i thought ill be able to stand up and fight. again, i was wrong, i need this days off. to collect my thoughts, remind me that the life i had before is still around.