Tuesday, June 30, 2009

pag ang buhay ay naging isang biro.


no commitments involved, your uncertain on ur role to his life. U can't expect him to be always der for u.
U cant demand,
U cant be jealous

there's no "us"
meron lang
"u and me"

u cant be sure of his feelings for u, and this will make u wonder where u r in d relationship or
if der is a relationship at all......

but why do others still settle for this kind of relationship?

for fun?
kilig feeling?
Para lang may kasama habang wala ang real thing?


but if one gets cold,
then that's the end of everything.
The relatonship is false but surely the PAIN is real.....

you will be miserable,
hoping to bring back what used to have.

Hirap no?
but that's the consequences.......
kasi from the start wala ka naman pinanghahawakan,
dahil parang kayo pero hindi naman talaga.....
At usually hanggang dun lang un.....

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

San ako galing academically. Palag?

In a study conducted by the Professional Regulations Commission(PRC) and the Commission on Higher Education (CHED), based on the average passing in the BOARD EXAMINATIONS OF ALL COURSES of all universities and colleges in the country, here is a list of the Top 20 Universities of the Philippines:

1. University of the Philippines
(Diliman Campus /Luzon)

2. University of the Philippines
(Los Banos Campus/ Luzon)

3. University of the Philippines
(Manila Campus /Luzon)

4. Silliman University
(Dumaguete City / Visayas)

5. Ateneo deDavao University
(Davao / Mindanao)

6. Ateneo de Manila University
(Manila /Luzon)

7. University of Sto. Tomas
(Manila / Luzon)

8. Mindanao State University
(Iligan Institute ofTech/ Mindanao)

9. Pamantasan ng Lungsod ng Maynila

10. Saint Louis University
(Baguio City / Luzon)

11. University of San Carlos
(Cebu City / Visayas)

12. Xavier University
(Cagayan de Oro / Mindanao)

13. Mindanao State University
(Main / Mindanao)

14. Urios College
(Butuan City / Mindanao)

15. Polytechnic University of
the Philippines (Manila/ Luzon)

16. De La Salle University
(Manila / Luzon)

17. Mapua Institute of Technology
(Manila / Luzon)

18. Adamson University
(Manila /Luzon)

19. Central Mindanao University

20. University of Southern Philippines
(Davao /Mindanao)

This study is concluded every 10 years.

Eleven schools come from Luzon, two from the Visayas and seven from

Saturday, June 20, 2009

quarter life

in nursing, there are those things that people try to figure out and label out. Situations that one mostly encounter ones, twice or thrice in a life time. Situations that usually leave a mark in ones life. There are milestones and crossroads which at times if not always makes one what he is at a moment. And there are what they refer to as crisis. These are situations where things get all fucked up and one either succumb of fight for dear life. If ever i get to live a hundred then maybe, where i am and what i am experiencing right at this very moment is a quarter life crisis. Yes, i want to succumb, there hasn't been any other time in my life where i've constantly thought of jumping over a bridge, slit my jugulars and wished that at my next flight the plane would just dive into the ocean. Its this time in my life that if not for my mom, i would have got myself lost in some slum area and submit to the neighborhoods plea for chaos and blood blood blood. That way pity would be my weapon, not against the possible blood thirsty men who'll do the mauling but against my relatives who decided to persecute me for not being perfect. This way all might be easy. A hit, kick here and there would make me bleed but i know in time it'll heal on its own. Its a more sensible choice than fight for my dear life and defend myself from my aunt dellys rather uncalled for yelling over the phone. She had never failed to make me feel bad about myself. Shes like that constant voice that hovers around an innocent kid who sneaked in a smelly little kitten. She's like that grade two teacher who pesters you with inaudible preaching while hitting your armchair with his bigger than life bamboo stick. She's all that and more. I love her but somehow i know i deserve better.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

medyo outdated

lage ako out dated sa american idol, napapansin ko lang ang show pag last two na. naging cookie ako dati ngaun allen fan naman. pero te matet, mas talented si adam, alam ko at "i like the top" daw. hahahaha

between where i am and where i wanted to be

my family is one big circus. its relatively small but they occupy most of the space in my life. i love em but at times i start to wonder why so. when you place yourself in the shoes of one of the carpenters who are presently and constantly tiling our house, maybe thoughts of wanting to be one of us would never ever something to be consider. our constant raising of voices would make the walkers shy out. kitty would shut her froggish mouth if ever she hears me say "MA!". Grandpa, grandma, mother, tito's tita's and cousins. i never had brothers or sisters or a father. and never at one moment of my life did i wish for one. could things be different if ever i did? maybe. and i try to think, does being in a somehow dysfunctional family contribute to what i am right now? 8 years is maybe the longest time ive been with a group of people who call themselves family. before that there was only me and ma, then there was me and ma and stepdad. i didnt question these set ups. i didn't have a voice then. now at the age of 25, almost over with half of my lifetime, that voice is still not within me. its here somewhere but they are repressed. it once raised its tone but decided not to push further because there were great forces trying to push it down where it came from. i look around and i see clutter, inside our house, my room, my wallet and my heart. months ago someone asked me, " ask yourself what you really want and start there, you'll know what to do after ". he was wrong, i know what i really really want but the wisdom to know what to do never came. now i am confused as ever. i did things that cannot be undone, i said things that can never be taken back. hearts had been broken and egos left shattered. just before the act of starting a new beginning, the present ate away the past and rotten the future. Bless my soul, oh Lord.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


I gave up coffee and cigarettes
I hate to say it hasn’t helped me yet
I thought my problems would just dissipate
And all my pain would be in yesterday

I poured my booze all down the kitchen drain
And watched my bad habits get flushed away
I thought that that would keep my head on straight
And all my pain would be in yesterday

But it’s true
I’m still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit, you

I thought that if I didn’t go and play
The sadness would get bored and go away
I thought that if I didn’t go astray
That all my pain would be in yesterday

But it’s true
I’m still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit, you

I sold my guitar and my piano
I thought that it was these that kept me low
I thought if only I could try and change
That all my pain would be in yesterday

But it’s true
I’m still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit, you

I must quit, I must quit, you

i dont know what to say

to unknown.