Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Happiness. Pursuit of,

A friend found out today that she has a condition that she considers another slap on her face. Her OB Gyne confirmed that she has warts on her private parts. This means that having unilateral fallopian tube and severed ovaries are not omen enough for her to stop trying to have a child. She wants a child, badly. Her only dream was to have a family, to marry her boyfriend and bear their child. But no, this considerably simple thing is not for her, she is not meant to be happy, for now.

 Another scenario, a friend committed abortion less than a week ago. Despite vehemently telling her that it’s not an option to let go of that growing life inside her, she did it. With reasons that she pushed to be justifiable, I say there is no reason enough to justify abortion. The circumstance behind being it’s not yet possible. The baby daddy is still struggling weather he wants my friend or not because apparently, he wants his own kind, he is gay. This friend have tried being with men, they broke her heart. She threw herself to the lesbian market, they broke her heart. And now she’s betting on being Grace searching for her Will, he too broke her heart. She only wants to have a partner, to experience relationship and its true meaning but obviously, this is not for her, she is not meant to be happy, for now.

Then me, I have been gearing myself for a nursing career overseas. Took the IELTS, had a 5 year clinical experience from a tertiary hospital and researched on the best countries to practice my profession. I attended interviews, passed a couple and failed a couple. Now I have resigned from my local job in anticipation for the fruit of my labor. But it has been more than a year now and still nothing. I, don’t just want this, I need this. And as days turn into nights, still nothing. I am not meant to be happy, for now.

I came to thinking, maybe; just maybe, these things are really not meant to be. I’ve been convincing them to turn their backs and take another path. But with this I realized that I wasn’t really convincing them, I’m actually convincing myself. If we can’t find happiness on the things that we want and need, is it really possible to find it somewhere else?

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